In a previous Blog post from 11/21/22, I mentioned about SIX BASIC NEEDS people must have in order to feel happy and fulfilled in their life (Did you get a chance to rate them on things you like and dislike on a scale from 1-10? I hope you did so you'll be able to better understand this blog post.
There are three things that come into mind of what I've done and seen others do at the lanes. At first it made no sense to me, but after reading up and studying these human needs, I do understand it a lot better and realize it was foolish to have some of those superstitions I mentioned in a prior blog post from 10/31/22.
Are you one of those people who uses the ten minute practice session before league play begins? Most of us are and if you get a few strikes do you sit down because you are worried you might use them all up? I used to be like that until I became a better bowler and understood why I was doing that. Remembering that bowling is a 10% physical and 90% mental game, in our mind we believe we better leave some strikes for when it really counts, so to get our need of CERTAINTY we talked about, we just stop practicing and sit down just to be sure. This gives us the comfort in knowing that we did leave a few strikes for the real game (even though we're not 100% positive that we will actually get any--the UNCERTAINTY). You can leave yourself the the opportunity for a level of SIGNIFICANCE because you know you can still get some strikes since you sat down early and left a few. If you do in fact get more strikes, you will bowl well and that will make you feel important.You can get a level of CONNECTION and CONTRIBUTION because you want to do your best for your team to help them win the games. This sounds a bit bizarre, but I have experienced this during my bowling years but never really understood why I sat down instead of using the full ten minutes of practice.
I had a guy on my team a few years back who would NOT get up to bowl if there was a split left on the lane on either side of where we were bowling. He always thought that he was going to get one too, so he would patiently wait until the person finished bowling and that split was off the pin deck. He was a decent bowler too and I was surprised that he still had this frame of mind. I have seen many other bowlers do this as well and it drives me nuts even though I have seen people bowl next to a split and did get a split. When I learned how to drive, my instructor told me that if I ever got into skid to look at or focus on where I wanted to go, NOT on what I wanted to avoid. That is when I realized that people were focusing so much on NOT getting a split and that is just what they got. If people just focused on getting a good first ball, having a good release, and getting it over the correct target, they would have gotten a strike or at least a nine count! It's true that you get what you focus on!!
I also mentioned that people use different VEHICLES or ways to attain the six basic needs. Most of us use positive vehicles, but at times we resort to using NEGATIVE ones instead.
I used a negative one in my bowling many years ago and learned a valuable lesson from it that I will never forget. I want to share it with my readers because I don't want it happening to any of you!
Several years ago I had joined a new mixed league in a different bowling center and I was averaging 216 for the first seven weeks. I was averaging about 202 for a short time before this which was my highest average so far in any of my leagues. I had mostly gotten the high average for the women bowlers by the end of the season in my leagues too. Well, a new team joined the league with all the members averaging 220+, including the two women. So I began worrying that I wouldn't be able to keep up and get the high average and I started doubting myself. Instead of focusing on my routine and basics, I kept checking on their scores and before I knew it, my averaging started going down. Then I began worrying about that and also what my team mates were thinking.
I was doing what is called "SELF SABOTAGING" which is a NEGATIVE Vehicle and I didn't realize it at the time! I was CERTAIN that I could average 202 because I had already done that and that was my COMFORT ZONE. Well you guessed it, I did not get the high average for the women that year and I finished with my comfortable 202 average. I learned that I will NEVER SELF SABOTAGE again! I will just stay focused on my own bowling since that is all I can control. Had I realized what I was doing to myself sooner, I could've nipped in the bud and had a self talk. I am sure I could have done so much better but now I'll never know what I could have averaged that year.
I realized that by fearing my failure, I was holding myself to a lower standard.The only way to really improve at something is to put yourself in a place where you can fail so you can get out of that comfort level you are stuck in! If you want to get to that next level, don't let the wrong things get into your head like I did. Always try your best for yourself and for your team. If you see yourself doing something negative, try to step back and analyze it before it gets out of hand. I've been bowling a very long time now and sometimes I still have to try to not let pressure situations get the best of me. I am so much better now though than back then because I trained myself to be positive and to stay focused on my things that I want to accomplish so negative thoughts don't have a chance to get into my head. Stress less and only focus on what you can control!!
We are only human and do make mistakes, but if you can learn from your mistakes then you will keep GROWING. Try your best to look at things as a challenge and a way to get out of your comfort zone so you will keep improving year after year!!
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Good Luck and High Scoring!!
Hello!! My name is Joanie. Although I'm not a professional bowler, I have loved the sport for more than 45 years, averaged over 200 for several seasons, and learned quite a bit with research and experience.